Virtually Painless
by DamselInDistress64
Summary: Breaking Dawn SPOILERS! What would have happened of Jacob had convinced Bella to give up the baby? How will Edward cope with the alternative, even though it was he who suggested it? JxB, occasional ExB. Gotta love the love triangle! Please Review!
1. It's Hurting Everyone

**WARNING- BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS!!**

**Hey! I'm Damsel, and this is my first fanfiction. I totally loved this part in Breaking Dawn, which is the agreement Edward and Jake made to try to get Bella to have a kid with Jake instead of keeping the vampire child. So I was pretty pissed when they didn't… it was, like, my dream to have Jake and Bella together. I love you too, Edward, haha. So this picks up from the beginning-ish of their conversation, sparing the details. It shows what would have happened if Bella hadn't refused… **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I do not own anything- Stephenie Meyer does. God, she's awesome!**

"Bella, listen to me." I scowled; I hated giving the bloodsucker a one-up, helping him, but it was the only way I could think of to make her listen to me. Taking her fragile face in mine, I lifted it up and held her gaze intently.

"You are _destroying_ Edward. Even if you survive this, which I seriously doubt, he will be scarred." Bella swallowed and shifted uncomfortably under my hands. For once, she didn't have anything to say.

"He's gonna look at the…the thing, and see it as a monster." I wasn't sure how much truth that statement had, but I didn't really care. Let her think what she wanted to.

"No, that's not true." She frowned, but she looked nervous, as if she hadn't thought about that. Probably hadn't.

"How do you know? I saw him today, Bells. Do you have any idea how much willpower it's taking him not to crumple to your feet and beg mercilessly? He's metaphorically dying." I swallowed a sick lump in my throat. "He… when he talked to me, he let the pretense down. He went insane."

Bella bit her lip. "That bad?"

I nodded dispassionately. "Clutching at his face, screaming, everything. He's a mess, and you're causing it by letting that thing live inside of you."

She cringed, automatically reaching for her bloated stomach. Lines of worry etched between her eyebrows, and she was silent for awhile. I held my breath, hoping that this was the moment of hesitation I needed to save her.

"Is the monster really more important to you than Edward?" I murmured, internally feeling sick. God, this was disgusting. I didn't give a crap about the leech, but it was really the only thing that came to my uncreative mind.

She shook her head morosely. "Edward is very important to me, Jake. But this… my baby. I have to keep it alive." She stroked her stomach, and I resisted the urge to rip her hand away from it.

"You can't have both," I muttered. "Edward's going to loose it one if these days, I'm positive. If you keep this up. " I swallowed. Sick, this is sick. "You can always just have another baby. There is a lot healthier ways to have one."

She looked like she'd been slapped. "Jake! Don't be stupid! Edward wouldn't try having another one again, not after this!"

I smiled, smug. "Exactly. See how much this is hurting him? He won't do it again, he doesn't like this right now, and your in danger of loosing him, yourself, and possibly the kid."

Bella frowned. "You're not making any sense, Jake. You just said that I could have another one."

That wiped the smile off of my face. Damn, so close to the subject. But… I had to try.

"Bella." I sighed. "You want to be a mom, right?"

Her frowned loosened up, and she smiled just a bit, though her eyes were still confused. "Yeah, I do. Edward wants one too, he said so himself."

"But he doesn't want this baby, right?"

She stared straight ahead, not meeting my eyes. I took it as a confirmation that she already knew that fact.

"So…" I started, my heartbeats suddenly increasing. It was so hard to get the words out of my mouth.

"So what, Jake?"

Ugh. "Have a kid with me."

I swallowed what felt like a rock in my throat. Her mouth popped open, and I hurried to fill her with the logic before she could really think it over. "I don't have to be the father; it could be yours and Edward's kid. It would be a lot healthier for you and the baby, and Edward was the one who suggested it in the first place. Anything, Bells. He'll do anything as long as you give up this baby." She was still silent, and I hurried on with whatever came to my twisted mind.

"And it doesn't have to be"-I searched for the right words-"pleasurable. We can just get it over with, and you can raise it as your kid, with him. I honestly don't care. Just…don't keep _this_ one, Bells. It's destroying a lot more people than you think." I went down the extensive list. "The doc, Alice, all of the Cullen's, Seth, Charlie, Renee… and you know the obvious. Edward, and me." I smiled halfheartedly.

She stared at a small point above my head for what seemed like eternity, while my heart hammered out a staggering beat.

"Jake…" she sighed, caressing her battered stomach. "I… I'm not…sure. I didn't expect _that_ one out of your mouth." She met my eyes slowly. "And it's not just any baby, it's this one that I want."

My lip twitched as I fought off a scowl. "And yet you aren't able to get it through your thick head that it is this baby, not any baby, but this one that is killing everyone!!" I snapped, letting my temper go a bit. Already, my hands trembled slightly against her skin.

Bella's eyes clouded over, and moisture appeared in them. _Great, I was making the pregnant woman cry._

"Look, Bells…" I started, defeated. "You don't have to. Forget-"

"No Jake," she cut in, her voice trembling. "It's not that. I'm crying because… because I really _do_ want a child!" And then she proceeded to cry in my hands.

I stared at her, completely and utterly shocked. This was _definitely not_ the reaction I had expected. Oh, god, why couldn't I comfort her right now?

Because she was seriously thinking about it.

And she was crying because she really, really wanted a kid. Edward wanted one, too, but like I gave a crap. Logic was against her. She wanted a kid, she wanted to have a kid…

And I would giver her that. I would give her what she wanted.

But he must be listening. I wouldn't gloat, I wouldn't think about what I was going to do with her until I was far, far away. But it was so hard not to… how long had I wanted this for?

Her small sob broke through my contemplation, and I pulled her head carefully against my chest. I wasn't used to her feeling so breakable, and it made me shiver a bit. She was colder than usual.

_Bloodsucker Edward, I know you're listening. Come here, and tell her it's okay. I think she feels guilty about this. _

Of course he was there in a second; no doubt he had been lurking behind the closed door. He rushed to her side, and took her away from me. The abruptness might have perturbed me if I wasn't floating on cloud nine at the moment.

He stroked her pale face, and murmured soothing words. "Bella, honey, shh. It's okay. I'm fine really," he laughed, his voice just dripping with the highest level of relief. "It's okay, you don't need to feel any guilt."

Bleh. This love fest was sickening. But soon the love fest would turn the tables… I smirked in spite of myself.

I saw him cringe slightly in reaction to my thoughts, but he otherwise ignored it. How could he say that he didn't want this when he was the one to have suggested it? Hypocrite would be plastered to his head with big ol' neon letters. I laughed quietly.

Bella quieted after a moment, and she sniffed into his shirt. He wiped away the excess tears, and smiled consolingly at her. "This is wonderful, Bella. We can have a child, but now it won't hurt you. It won't hurt anyone."

She lifted her head. "Poor baby…"

Edward's face fell a bit. He knew that she meant. "Your baby won't feel a thing, Bella. It will be over, painless. Carlisle will make sure," he vowed. "I'll make sure you won't feel a thing, either."

Bella sighed, and struggled to sit up. He put his hands under her, and carefully sat her up, propping her on pillows.

I got up form my position on the floor, anxious to get out, but needing to know the details.

Edward looked up at me, reading my thoughts. "I'm not sure yet," he admitted. "When it's over, and she's in a stable condition, we'll let you know." His voice was reverent with gratitude. I nodded nonchalantly in return, pretending not to be to anxious, but really doing an explosive victory dance inside my head. He pretended not to see that.

"I'll be going then," I muttered, and turned to get the door. I was out of the bloodsucker's house, finally getting some air, but of course he was following me.

"Jacob, wait." He came up in front of me, blocking my exit off of their porch. I sighed impatiently, needing to get away.

"What, Edward?" I grumbled. Oh hell with the etiquette. "I mean Bloodsucker."

He grimaced, but smoothed out his face easily. "I know you wanted to make a quick escape, but I have to thank you properly." His sincerity rang out in every syllable, but I didn't want to acknowledge it, so I ignored it.

"Jacob, you have saved Bella, and I could go on for hours about how grateful I am-"

"-Don't waste your breath-"

"-but I'll spare you that and just say this." He took a deep breath."Thank you, Jacob Black. I know it's not… a truly large burden to do this, and I would be disgusted otherwise, but how could I be? You've helped her, and there's nothing more I would ever ask of you than that." He smiled, pure happiness breaking out on his face. "I am utterly grateful, and I'd like to let you know that anything, anything you need of me or my family, don't hesitate for a moment to ask."

I shifted awkwardly on my feet. "Er… don't hold your breath on that one. But yeah, no big deal." I implied an end to the conversation in my voice. He stepped aside, and let me by.

"We'll contact you when your services will be needed," he called out to me as I started off towards the woods, trembling slightly, ready to phase.

"Sure, sure." I rolled my eyes, but I waited, waited until he was out of sight, and then I stripped and let the shiver of heat roll through me, transforming my human body into animal form. And then I started to run as fast as my four limbs would take me.

I let myself run as far as I possibly could, whipping by the trees, not caring about time. My strong muscles would take me far, and I plan to run myself exhausted, so I wouldn't be able to think about that I'd just agreed to. But as I got farther and farther away from the Cullen's house, my thoughts caught up with me. So soon… I'd get what I've dreamed about, but never really believed it would come true.

What the hell had I just done? It was so sick, so utterly nasty what I was going to do within a matter of weeks.

But so, so amazing.

This had to be kept a secret. No one could know, not even Seth, who would be the most down with the situation.

I would tell them what they needed to know. I'd tell them that she pulled out of it, and she's giving up the baby.

But I sure as hell wouldn't tell them about the plan.

**Hope ya liked it! Next chapter will be posted soon. Please Review!!**


	2. Surgery Mishaps

**Hey there! So this chapter is a bit more interesting than the first, I hope you enjoy it. It was hard to write, since I don't really know all of this doctoring-surgery stuff, so if I made a mistake, I apologize, but I'm not a medical person, haha! So please review, and here is the second chapter of Virtually Painless.**

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"All right, Bella. Just breathe though your nose. It'll be over before you know it."

Carlisle's professional voice rang in my ears, but he sounded far away. I felt Edward's cool hands enveloping mine, soothing me, but I barely felt his touch. Jasper's calming waves hit my body, but they only numbed my anxiety. My baby was being destroyed in a matter of minutes.

"Edward…she looks a bit sick." Jasper's bass voice spoke out. "Is she okay?"

I heard him sigh. "She'll be fine. We're here, Bella, sweetie."

I nodded, feeling my head swirl sickeningly. "Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella, I'm here."

I swallowed. "Is it going to be like… a normal abortion?"

There was a silence, and then he answered, trying to make his voice unalarming at the same time.

"Well… yes and no. The child is obviously stronger than the normal, so I have to operate differently. More like a c section. The membrane is harder… so I'll need to use a sharper-"

"Carlisle… it might be best not to give her the details." Edward was watching the look of increasing horror that was spreading across my face.

"Ah. Right." He rearranged his features, smiling reassuringly. "No worries, Bella. This will be very quick, virtually painless." Carlisle snapped on his gloves, and turned on the overhead light in his medical room. The brightness momentarily blinded me, but my eyes adjusted soon enough.

Soon enough to see the tray of deadly looking metal objects with serrated edges.

Edward's cool hand came down over my eyes.

"Do you mind hiding those?!" Edward said tensely. I heard a quick rattling, a soft thunk, and then silence.

"Shall we start then?" Carlisle took on a commanding, businesslike voice. "Edward, please get the curtains." Edward raised the metal railings over the examining table that I was lying on. He yanked the fabric over the lower half of my body. I was grateful that I wouldn't have to see anything.

Edward snapped on his own pair of gloves, and I realized that he was going to be Carlisle's assistant. Swallowing the sick feeling in my throat, I squeezed my eyes shut and took Carlisle's advice, taking deep, slow breaths through my nose, and out of my mouth.

"That's right, Bella. Just deep breathing." I was surprised to hear Jasper's deep voice right beside me. I opened my eyes, and stared at him questioningly.

"Jasper's here for… emotional support," Edward informed me, smiling at the irony. I nodded, unable to speak.

Sensing my distress, he took my hand, and leaned down to kiss it gently. "We'll take good care of you, sweetie." I tried to smile, but I wasn't quite sure how it came out. It felt more like a grimace.

Edward raised my hand, and put a small clap over my thumb. Within a second, I heard a habitual beeping beside my feet. I glanced around the curtain, and saw a small, expensive-looking monitor flashing to my heartbeats.

"Mmm. Her heartbeat is normal enough. Sounds like we can start." Carlisle assessed. Edward let go of my hand, and with a quick kiss on my forehead, he disappeared behind the curtain.

Carlisle poked his head around the curtain, hooking his mask behind his ears.

"Now, Bella," he said, his tranquil voice muffled slightly by the fabric covering his nose and mouth. "If I'm hurting you at all, you need to tell me right away. That means you need more morphine, so whatever you need to do, just make sure that I know that it hurts. Can you do that?" Carlisle softened his voice, and leaned closer to me. "I do not want to hurt you in any way."

I swallowed the emotional lump that had formed in my throat. "Thank you, Carlisle. I can do that." I closed my eyes again, making myself as comfortable as possible on the table.

Jasper took my hand, and the contact increased the level of serenity that he emitted.

"The morphine please, Edward. And the syringe."

Oh, crap. There went the calm feeling. The monitor beeped unevenly.

Sighing, Jasper squeezed my hand, and the pressure pacified me. It felt good, but it still didn't help the fact that _needles_ were going to-

"All done. Didn't feel a thing, did you?" I heard Edward say, a smile in his voice. "Needles aren't so bad."

I made a face, but already I could feel the morphine setting in, a strange, numbing sense creeping up my body. Soon, I could barely feel my lower half, and I breathed a nervous sigh. Here it goes.

"Bella, I'm going to start now. Anything hurts, you're going to tell me, correct?"

I bit my lip, and managed to whisper out a response. "Yes."

Jasper squeezed my hand again. "Try not to think too hard, Bella. Just let your mind wander somewhere else." His bass voice was utterly soothing, the words rolling off of his tongue like silk. So I tried to ignore the tugging sensation that was coming from my stomach, and listened to Jasper talk.

"Hm… let me think. I'm sure your honeymoon was wonderful, wasn't it?" I heard Edward choke down a laugh, and I blushed. Jasper rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that, though I'm sure that was wonderful as well... I meant the weather. I've been to Isle Esme only once, and I found it quite warm. Do you like the heat?" He was trying to distract me with questions.

I shrugged. "It was very hot there, yes. But it was nice, very beautiful. We went hiking and snorkeling and did a lot of other things." I had trouble concentrating on the conversation; the tugging was increasing, and though it was not painful, it wasn't exactly comfortable. I winced slightly, instinctively.

"Bella? Does it hurt?" Jasper asked me; he must have seen my reaction. The tugging stopped, and Edward stuck his head around the sheet, his face alert behind the surgical mask.

"Do you want Carlisle to go on?" he inquired.

"Oh, no, it's fine. It's just… tugging. Not painful." I reassured them both.

Edward nodded efficiently, and ducked back out of sight.

Jasper rubbed his thumb in little circles on my palm. His cool hands felt good on my skin, which was slightly overheated.

"The operation I going very smoothly," Carlisle commented. I realized he was talking to me, and I paid attention. "Now, I'm going to have to break through the membrane covering the fetus, and the sound will be unpleasant, but it's to be expected, so don't worry."

I gulped. My child… my poor child… it will be in _pain._

Jasper felt my grieving emotions. "It won't feel a thing, Bella."

"Hold on, Edward," I heard Carlisle murmur. There was a soft clank, and then he was at my side, running his hand through his golden-blonde hair.

Though I couldn't see half of his face, Carlisle looked slightly nervous, which was very uncharacteristic. I frowned, feeling somewhat apprehensive.

"How do I phrase this…" he started. My jaw tensed, and I stared at him blankly. "Well… to say it bluntly, _don't freak out_." He met my eyes. "I've never done anything like this before, but I'm going to say I'll _try _to make it as… painless as possible for the child." His dark gold eyes were apologetic. "I know it's strong… so it might need to be more…" Carlisle struggled for words, and my heartbeats slowly accelerated. "Ah. Well, Bella, I said I'll try my hardest." He took my other hand. "I'm a man of my word."

I felt my eyes prickle a bit in the corners, and I bit my lip.

"Well," I whispered, my voice cracking a bit, "you said you'll try. I can't ask for more than that."

His eyes crinkled slightly, and I could tell that he was smiling under the mask.

"Thank you." And then he was gone, disappearing behind the curtain. I sighed, and Jasper squeezed my hand. I heard the sound of a tool being picked up.

"Let's get this over with, Ca-"

A high-pitched grating noise came from my body, cutting Edward off, and he swore loudly.

"Carlisle, I think it's trying to escape! Dammit!" Edward yelled, and there was a muffled thump as something fell to the floor. Carlisle started shouting out instructions, and the tugging started up again, but this time with a grotesque squealing noise that filled the small room. I covered my ears, and cringed against Jasper's side.

"I need the half-inch serration knife!" Carlisle ordered, his voice intense. I heard a rattling sound, and I flinched slightly. Did he mean… the serration was a _half inch? _The image filled my mind, and I almost retched from the thought.

"Oh, god, oh god…" I murmured, starting to sweat. Jasper's eyes were strained as he held my hand, a little too tightly to be mollifying.

"Bella, Bella, shh, they've got it under control," he tried desperately to reassure me, but his voice was too tense. I didn't believe it for a second. My breath came in short gasps, and I clutched at Jasper's hand. There was a strong jerk to my abdomen, and very out-of-character word came from Carlisle's mouth.

"Ah!" I cried, surprised from the forcefulness of the tug.

Then, before I could assess what was happening, I was falling into a black hole of unconsciousness.

* * *

"Do you think she'll come around anytime soon?"

I heard Edward's musical voice in my left ear, but I couldn't see him.

Ah. My eyes were closed.

I tried to open them, but to my astonishment, they really didn't want to open. I also realized that my body was very unresponsive, sluggish. I attempted to flex my fingers, but they wouldn't budge, either.

"Where's Jasper? Maybe he can fix this." Edward spoke up again, and I was surprised to hear that his voice was oddly calm. Shouldn't he be a little bit more tense, after what just happened?

What _did_ happen? My child… was it… **dead?**

"Well, he _was_ the one that caused this." A second voice, Carlisle, answered Edward. "Maybe he was an idea."

I heard a ghost of a sound, and then a third voice joined in.

"Hm. I wonder if I made her alert… would that help?" Jasper's bass voice mused.

"It's worth a try," Edward said nonchalantly. Carlisle agreed quietly.

Suddenly, a jolt like electricity ran through my body, throwing off the lethargic sensation like a blanket. My limbs tingled numbly, and then I could feel them come back to me. Warmness flooded my body, and my fingers twitched. Trying once again, my eyes fluttered open, and met three relieved pairs.

"Nice going, Jazz," Edward praised, a sarcastic edge to his voice. Jasper grimaced sheepishly.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice thick. I cleared my throat, ridding the blockade.

Edward chuckled. "It seems that my brother didn't have control over his emotions." Jasper rolled his eyes, and Carlisle laughed lightly. I frowned, not understanding.

Sighing, Jasper explained. "I meant to make you… drowsy, to numb the sensations, but I was too tense, and the drowsiness came out more forceful than expected." He grinned. "I accidentally knocked you out."

I grasped what he was saying, and I laughed in spite of myself. "I guess that must have scared you guys, huh?"

Edward grinned crookedly. "Carlisle nearly had a heart attack, no pun intended. We thought we had… well, it was scary at the time. I'm just glad you're okay." He leaned down to tenderly kiss my forehead. I sighed, content, and then sucked in a breath, the motion causing pain in my abdomen.

"Stitches," Carlisle confirmed. "Lots of them. But you're healing fast."

I looked around. I was in Edward's room, lying down on his large, golden bed with pillows propped beneath my head. I lifted up the comforter, and my eyes widened. My stomach was back to normal size, or so as much as I could assess. I lifted up the hem of my shirt, and was pleased to see that the bruises were fading, slowly but surely.

"Thank you, Carlisle," I breathed, lowering the comforter and looking him in the eyes. "I owe you so much."

He smiled, his white teeth radiant. "No need. It was the least I could do for my… daughter." I smiled in return, my gratitude utterly sincere. Edward took my hand, and I turned my attention to him.

"So, Carlisle says that if you're good and stay rested, you can start to move around by yourself starting in a week or so. The stitches will have healed the cut by then, and the bruises should definitely have faded." He grinned crookedly. "Good as new."

I squeezed his hand, and realized that Jasper had disappeared.

"Where's Jasper?"

Edward's eyes tightened slightly, and Carlisle cleared his throat inconspicuously.

"He's… greeting someone who wants to see you," Edward answered, his voice normal, but with a catch in the back that was so discreet, it almost wasn't there. I nodded, understanding.

"Jacob," I confirmed. The catch in his voice was understandable, then. Which reminded me of the catch to this situation.

Jacob, my best friend, was soon to be a lot more than just that.

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**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	3. Guilty Thoughts

**Hello! Sorry for the wait, I had a bit of a hard time with some ideas. But it's all good now, haha. It's getting good, hopefully, so next chapter, or the next, should have some… action. If you get my drift ******

**Please enjoy, and please review!!**

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I shifted uncomfortably before the bedroom door, wanting to go in, to see Bella's face, to see for my own eyes that she was all right. And at the same time, I didn't. Why? Hell, because I couldn't even _look _at her without my mind filling with images. And let me tell you, they weren't innocent.

But I had to. It was an involuntary side of me that had to insure her safety, some force that pulled me towards her, instead of away.

So I manned it up and pushed open Edward's bedroom door.

She _was_ better, thank god. At least on the outside, that is, but I didn't want to think about how badly her insides were messed up. Her face was expectant, and the beautiful flush on her cheeks had returned. Her hair looked shinier, like I had remembered it, and her brown eyes sparkled with renewed life and energy. I breathed a small sigh of relief as my eyes flitted over her stomach, which was mercifully flat.

Edward smiled, understanding. He was just as happy to have the little monster gone, but for some more ethical reasons. Of course I was happy as well that she was healthy, and _alive. _That we shared… but I had some other motives, pig that I was.

"Hey, Jake," Bella greeted me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I raised my head, and met her warm eyes. They shone, and their pure beauty just made my stomach drop. God, she had so much influence over me. I should've really had a good, strong backbone by now, but sometimes she was just so irresistible that I wanted to run over and give her a huge hug. But of course I kept my composure, and grinned at her, instead.

"You're looking significantly better," I noted, making my way over to his bed. Now that I thought about it, why did he need a bed? Leeches don't sleep. Figures what you do when you have millions of bucks left over. Oh. Wait. Yeah, 'course he needed a bed. Ugh. I blushed slightly at the obvious, and Edward studiously pretended he couldn't hear me, though there was a slight smirk on his face.

I got over my mental disgust and sat down on the side Edward wasn't occupying, taking her hand. It felt a lot warmer than it had been a day or two ago, and I welcomed the change in temperature.

"A heck of a lot better," she nodded, answering my previous comment. She smiled, and squeezed my hand. "I'm glad you came to check up on me, Jacob."

I shrugged, trying to blow it off indifferently. "Sure, sure. 'Course I'd come."

Edward cleared his throat quietly, and I rolled my eyes, just a bit.

"Yeesss?" I answered, dragging out the word, making it sound lagging and bored. He pursed his lips, trying not to laugh.

"I was just going to say that she's healing wonderfully, already." He flashed a smile in her direction, and she blushed, naturally. Typical Bella. I pretended not to see that. "She has around thirty stitches-" I winced; that many? "-but it's to be expected, because the procedure was more like a c section than an abortion, because of the child's… condition." He paused for a fraction of a second, seeming reluctant. "She'll be up and, er, running in around a week or so." He grimaced slightly, and I smirked. _Yes, she will be._

But Bella looked uncomfortable, so I wiped the smirk off of my face real fast. Our baby plans weren't exactly set in stone quite yet. It was best not to upset her at this point. So I settled for being the good, caring guy here.

"How did the operation go?" I asked, actually curious for the answer.

Bella considered, tilting her head slightly in thought. "Hm. Well, at first it wasn't so bad. I had Jasper there with me, and you know how he can manipulate emotions. So I was pretty calm for awhile, but then there were some… complications." She swallowed, her eyes darting to Edward's quickly.

I waited for her to go on, but when she didn't, I prompted her. "Complications..?"

"Actually, the baby was trying to escape, supposedly; I couldn't see. So they had to operate quickly."

My eyes widened instinctively. "Did it hurt?" I asked bluntly, not thinking. Realizing what I said, I backtracked, not wanting to be rude. "Oh, sorry. You don't have to answer that."

She didn't look too offended, and she answered me quickly enough. "Not really. Just some… well, I don't want to be gross, but tugging. " She grimaced slightly. "It was just a bit uncomfortable. And then I blacked out." She laughed quietly, and Edward joined in. I had no idea what was funny about _that,_ but they were _both _pretty crazy, so I didn't pry.

So I was surprised when Edward suddenly got up from his position on the side of the bed. He leaned down and kissed her forehead quickly. "I'm going to step out for a second, but I'll be back soon enough." He smiled, but it was a bit too tight to be easygoing.

_What're you up to, bloodsucker?_

He shook his head slightly in response to my thoughts, plainly giving a well-an-idiot-could-have-figured-that-out vibe. I scowled as he stepped out of the room, resisting the urge to give him a good whack over the head.

As soon as he'd left the room, I felt Bella take my hand again. I hadn't realized that she had dropped it in the first place, so I stared at her cynically.

"I didn't want to make him any more agitated. He's already pretty upset, though he doesn't show it." She turned her head to the closed door, and I snorted, feeling a little smug.

"So Edward's not too thrilled, is he? He's the one who came up with it, you kn-"

"Yes, I know that," she snapped, cutting me off. Yep, Bella sure was herself again. "But I know that it's not just a big load on your shoulders, so show a little compassion." She frowned, turning her attention back towards me. "How would you feel in his situation?" She sighed, and fiddled with the golden comforter. "I don't like seeing him like that."

I hated to admit it, but for a second I did feel for Edward. If I was in his place, and some guy that my girl loved offered to knock her up after she'd given up the one before, I'd be beyond angry. He was handling it kinda well, considering the fact that I would have been a thousand times worse.

"Yeah, I'd be pissed," I muttered to myself. _Oops, said that out loud. _I glanced up, and saw that she was staring at me questioningly.

"Excuse me?"

"Uh, nothing. Just talking to myself." Well, _that_ didn't sound creepy at all.

Her face turned slightly smug. "Did you say you'd be pissed?" She laughed, her voice turning sarcastic. "Jacob has seen the light of day! He can finally feel other people's emotions instead of being a stubborn ass!" She shook her head, still chuckling. I rolled my eyes, laughing with her.

"Okay, okay," I allowed. "Make fun of the werewolf time is over now."

She grinned, squeezing my hand again. "I really am glad you came, Jacob. You can always make me laugh."

I grinned in return. "Happy to do so. As always."

She flashed me another smile, but then it faded slowly as she though of something. Her hold on my hand loosened slightly. "Ah, Jake. What're we going to do?"

I knew what she was talking about. Well, I knew what _I_ wanted to do, but…

"Yeah, I know what you mean. What do you think?" I answered considerately, swallowing the burning desire to just tell her what I really wanted to do. But this wasn't about me; it was about her. So I had to have some respect.

She sighed, staring deep into my eyes, like she was trying to pull a real answer out. "I mean, I still want to do it-" _Yes! _"-But I'm a bit… worried."

I nodded, understanding. "About the consequences?" But inside, I was just relieved that she wasn't thinking of backing out.

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Yes, that of course is a worry of mine. But..." She cut off, looking like she was struggling for words, or she was just reluctant to say it.

"Spit it out, Bells."

She locked eyes with me again, and said in a rush, "I'm worried about when we're doing it, Jake."

I frowned, not understanding. "There are no risks, if you're talking about disease-wise. You know that I've never done that with anyone before."

She blushed slightly, shaking her head. "No, no, I know that, but that's not what I'm getting at."

I sighed, a bit irritated. She was _such_ a worrier. "Bella, what are you talking about?"

She swallowed, and tried again. "Jacob, you know I love you, as well. And I know… being me," she laughed nervously, "that I wouldn't be able to help myself when I'm in that… situation. I'll get carried away…" She drew in a breath as realization dawned in my eyes. "With you, I couldn't stop if it got more then what I originally agreed to- just getting it over with." She averted her eyes, turning her attention to the comforter once again.

With me? The way she said it… she made it sound like she really wouldn't mind if it got more… unruly. I tried hard to keep my self-control, but inside I was really celebrating. She did say that she thought I was good-looking awhile ago…

"Jacob?"

My head snapped up, and her eyes were worried. "Do you see my point?"

I held her gaze for a second, to prove to her that I was being serious. "Would it really be that bad if it got carried away?" I asked quietly, hopeful.

She licked her lips nervously, and my eyes strayed to them for a second before I met her eyes again.

"I would feel… guilty," she admitted, looking sheepish, her face turning redder by the second.

I snorted. "Does he really have to know how it goes? Does he really _want_ to know all of the details?"

She frowned, a crease forming between her eyebrows. I reached out, and hesitantly smoothed it over with my fingers. She smiled at my touch, and I felt a tiny bit of hope forming in my chest. Maybe… just maybe I'd get my way.

"Y'know what?" She asked quietly, not really looking for an answer. "You're right." Resolve was forming slightly in her brown eyes, and the bubble of hope swelled like a balloon in my chest. "I worry too much." She smiled, and squeezed my hand. "What will happen, will happen."

I grinned, happiness radiating clearly from every inch of my body. "Yes," I agreed, with a little more force than was needed. "Yes, it will."

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**Oh yes… haha. Hope you liked it! Please review.**


	4. Morals and Anxiety

**Hey! So this is the Fourth Chapter of Virtually Painless, hope you like it! Please review!**

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Unintentionally speeding down the rain-slicked highway, I tried to unwind the tangled knot that was my stomach. _It's just Jacob_, I tried to console myself. _There's no need to be nervous._

But still, I was. Immensely so. It was just like the first night that I had made love to Edward- the anxiety, the feeling of unknown. It was like jumping into deep water without knowing how to swim. Well, in this case, I knew how to swim, but it almost didn't apply. I was sure that with Jacob, it would be different.

And now, 'Just Jacob' was becoming a lot more than just that nowadays. For god's sake, I was about to have sex with him! Things were getting so out of proportion. Didn't we make an agreement to be friends just awhile ago? This was so messed up.

I couldn't go back on this, though. I had made my decision, and as much as it hurt Edward, the hurt that it would cause Jacob would be far greater. I couldn't bear to turn him down once again. As big as he was, he seemed oddly fragile. Like all of my rejections had taken their toll on him, and another one would just make a large crack on his well being.

Already less than a mile from La Push, with my new high-speed car going way too fast for comfort, I tried once again to calm my nerves. _You can do this_. I vaguely wondered if Jacob was quite as nervous as I was.

As I drove, I let my mind wander. I imagined myself in Jacob's muscular arms, enveloped by their warmth. I imagined my hands on his bare chest, and how cold they would feel against his hot skin, and I shivered involuntarily. It would be so much more natural that it would be with Edward. We were both humans, more or less. There wouldn't be any danger, hopefully.

I was pleased to notice that my stomach had unknotted itself, and it was easier to breathe, as if a large weight had been lifted off of my chest. _Natural_, I repeated to myself. I could do this. _We_ could do this.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled. Slowing the car cautiously, I pulled into the Black's driveway, spraying a bit of muddy water into the air. The rain had turned into a faint drizzle, and it was refreshing on my overheated skin as I stepped out of my car.

I saw a flutter of the curtains inside the house, and then Jacob was stepping outside of the tiny door, coming out to greet me.

As soon as I saw his wide, elated grin, all of my fears washed away with the rain. He was my home, my rock, my sun. The thing that kept me grounded when I was at my worst. How could I not love him?

I grinned back, and jogged forward to meet his outstretched arms, unable to help myself.

"Hey, Bella," he said, his husky voice in my ear. There was a thin cover around his excitement, and it shone through, even though he tried not to let it show.

I laughed at his eagerness. "Hey, Jake," I smiled, letting go to look up at his face. He smirked at me, understanding where my laugh had come from.

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, a bit embarrassed for showing me his real excitement. "Let's go inside."

He let go of everything but my hand, which he held on to, swinging it between us. I loved how his hand enclosed my small one. Although it felt like a father holding his three year old daughter's hand, it was comforting and protective.

I was right when I had thought that it would be natural. I was so glad that there wasn't any awkwardness between us because of the situation- that would have just crushed my self esteem.

So when we were inside, and closed inside of his room, I let him kiss me. I let him push me gently onto the bed, and I let him get on top of me. I wanted this, and I did more than just 'let him'. I responded with reckless enthusiasm and passion that it was scandalous. Well, this whole scenario was scandalous.

It was in a very short time that I forgot about the glittering ring on my finger.

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I paced the long halls, too agitated to stay still, and too nervous to get out of my house. What if she decided against it, and I wasn't there to comfort her when she got home? I couldn't possibly leave, and yet it felt like this house was too small for my emotions. Poor Jasper was going insane, with all of my restless feelings swirling around in his head.

_Edward…If you're this against what she's doing right now, you should-_

"I should what?!" I snarled in response to Jasper's thoughts. Jasper was by my side in a second. "What can I do now?! She's over there, I can't just walk in there and tell them to… stop doing it!"

Jasper sighed, and he gave me sympathetic thoughts. "I know, but you just have to deal with this, Edward. What's done is done, and you were the one to have suggested the idea-"

"Yes, yes, I know that!" I snapped impatiently, my temper overruling my manners. I bit my tongue, and counted to ten very slowly in my head. "I apologize, Jasper. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

He nodded, forgiving me immediately. "Don't worry about it. I don't blame you. All of those conflicting emotions; it isn't good to keep them inside," he advised me, smiling knowingly. I returned a tight smile, and continued pacing. Slowly, I felt waves of pacification pass over my body like a blanket. In a different situation, they might have been soothing, but they were a bit bothersome at the moment.

"Jasper…"

"I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone," he promised from behind me, and I heard him take the stairs quickly.

Free to be alone with my thoughts, I slumped on the door, gazing out the window unseeingly.

My thoughts took on disturbing images_. Bella, alone with Jacob. Bella, undressed in his arms, Bella making love to a man other than myself-_

My thoughts turned completely desolate, and I pressed my forehead against the glass. "What have I done…?" I murmured, closing my eyes dejectedly, and sliding to the floor.

* * *

"Ah, ahh! Jacob!" Bella gasped, her voice high with a powerful sort of emotion, shock and pleasure at the same time. She clung to my body as my hands went to work, and I swear I couldn't see, feel, hear, smell, or taste anything that didn't involve Bella.

Once again, my mouth shoved against hers, forcing our tongues together. She grabbed my face and pushed her body up on mine, wrapping her bare legs around my waist. Oh, god. I moaned against her lips; she was just so _good. _She knew what to do, how to move, and how to touch my body to make me go insane. I knew that she was working form experience, but that thought, and many others, were banned to the farthest corner of my brain. There was nothing in hell that could have pulled me out of the moment.

And somehow, I knew what to do as well. Sure, I didn't have the experience, but it was like my body had a mind of its own. It knew what she wanted, how she wanted it, and miraculously, it knew how to accomplish it. It was like I had some weird instincts that had decided to come out at this moment.

We were both hot, both sweating. And let me tell you, it took a lot to make me overheated, much less sweaty. The quilt to my bed and our clothes were on the floor in a disorderly heap.

But the things she did to me were so…mmm. No words to describe it.

Like what her hands were doing at the moment.

"Jesus…christ!" I growled against her lips, groaning a second later when her hands made different motions. I grabbed at her hips, pulling her closer, if that was possible.

We both had our sets of morals. Bella, well, she had a husband. That's bound to have some problems in itself. She was a married woman in another man's bed! And he wasn't just a husband, but a loving, caring one at that. It wasn't like she was in some lonely, dull relationship, and needed an outlet.

So her morals were higher on the priority list than mine. Me, I had them too. I was the sick, twisted guy who was fooling around with the married woman. To top it all off, we loved each other.

But right now, thoughts of guilt were nonexistent, at least for me. It was about another ten minutes before we actually got anywhere, instead of... playing around. Ten minutes, a minute, and hour, whatever. I had lost track of time from the minute out lips had met.

"Jake… please," she panted, her brown eyes smoldering. I understood, and of course she didn't have to ask me twice.

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**Sorry, that might have pushed the lines of 'T' rating. Sorry! Review, review!!**

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	5. Both Types of Desire

**Hello, sorry for the delay, I was on vacay for awhile. It was lovely :) This isn't the best chapter,and it's pretty short, but I had to do this to get to the next part of the story. Sorry bout it, next one will be a lot better :) Here 'tis, please R&R**

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"What're you thinking about?"

Jacob's husky voice was at my ear, his voice low and intense. I stirred sleepily in his arms, freeing my hands of the bedcovers, and placing them on his chest. The heat would have been unbearable, if I could have noticed the extent of it. I was oblivious to trivial things like that at the moment.

"The heat. And how hot it would be if I wasn't otherwise occupied." I smiled, nestling my head deeper into his muscular torso. He chuckled, squeezing my shoulder briefly.

"I guess that's a compliment," he mused, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully. I turned my head slightly, so I could get a better view of his face. It was peaceful, but there was a small undercurrent of… triumph? Euphoria? Whatever it was, it was an emotion of happiness.

I couldn't decide how I really felt. The guilt, pain, and anxiety were there, but just hovering in the background, not quite strong enough to break through the barrier of bliss. I was happy, yes, but there was the strange sense of fiery passion that had not been associated with Jacob before. Maybe it took a strong, sensual experience to bring out these feelings.

I had loved Jacob, there was no doubt. But it was only fairly recently that I discovered my true feelings, so there was no time to explore my feelings to a full extent. Rather, I hadn't let myself explore my feelings, but shoved them to the back of my brain so I wouldn't be confused by them. So the love was light, and not strong enough to choose him over Edward. Of course, I was bound to him emotionally, but only slightly physically. I liked his russet skin, his deep eyes, and his muscular physique, but that was as far as the physical side went. I had never had a true desire for his body.

Now that I had let these feelings unfurl, I had a passionate desire for him. It wasn't the same with Edward, the desire. When we made love, he was slow, sensual, icy, and sent a sort of electric current through my body when he touched me. Jacob, on the other hand, had the passion to set the whole Redwood forest on fire. He was deeply intense, a smoldering fire that coursed through me whenever we made contact. I couldn't decide which type of desire I preferred.

Jacob noticed my preoccupation; my face probably gave me away. He gently unwound his long arm from around my waist, and reached up to smooth the thought line between my brows.

"Hate to ask you again," he grinned, "but what are you thinking about? With such concentration, I might add."

I rolled my eyes, and moved my hand down to his stomach, tracing his sculpted muscles. "You're beginning to sound like Edward, asking the mental mute what's on her mind when she displays any type of emotion." He laughed, and began to absentmindedly massage my back. It felt pretty good, so I turned around in his arms, my back facing him so he could reach easier.

"Does that feel good?" he asked, his husky voice amused. I nodded into the pillow, and I felt his other arm leave my waist, another hand pressing down on my back, working out the stressed parts. I moaned softly, the sound muffled by the pillow, as his hands moved skillfully down to the small of my back.

"I didn't know you could give massages, Jake," I murmured, content. I was beginning to feel a little sleepy.

"Yeah, well, sometimes my sisters would be totally exhausted after work, so I'd do them a favor and give them a good rub. Relieved some of their stress, y'know?" He paused thoughtfully as his warm hands worked their way back up. "I have skills with my hands, anyways."

I blushed, taking his comment differently than he had intended.

"I agree. You've proved that to me earlier," I muttered, laughing quietly.

"What? Oh," he said, realizing what I was talking about. "With all that noise you were making, I figured you liked it," he teased me. I blushed a deep crimson, burying my face deeper into his pillow. He laughed again, and continued to rub my back.

"Admit it, you liked my noise," I teased him back, still a bit red in the face.

He hesitated, and I felt his hands pause on my back, and then slide under to my stomach. I felt his strong muscles of his chest press against my back, and his warm lips trialed a line of fire down my neck, shoulder blades, and my spine. I moaned into my pillow, loving the heat of his body. I reached back, flipping myself around and facing him, pressing my bare body to his. His kisses continued down my neck, and down between the space between my breasts. I reached up, knotting my fingers into his silky hair, pulling myself closer to him.

"Yeah, I do like your noises," he murmured against my skin. "More than you know."

* * *

I stepped onto the porch, taking longer than necessary. I was scared to face Edward- what mood would he be in? Would he be angry? In pain? I cringed; I could deal with the anger, that was understandable, but the pain would be… unbearable. I hated to see him in pain because of me.

But of course, he could hear my footsteps, and was out of the door in a matter of seconds.

Oh no. There was the pain.

He was trying to cover it, but it was a very thin cover of indifference. It didn't take a genius to see through his charade, and my heart sank into my stomach.

"Bella," he murmured, putting a smile on his face. It looked to forced to be genuine, and I didn't believe it for a second.

He stepped forward, and crushed me against his cold chest, burying his face in my hair. I shuddered guiltily against him; his smell was all off, since I was used to a more natural scent of the forest that came off of Jacob's skin. He pulled back, confused.

"Are you all right?" he asked, searching my eyes. I met his gaze, and as I stared into his onyx eyes, I imagined myself pulling the suffering, making it all going away.

"Bella?" Edward sounded slightly alarmed. I shook myself out of my wishful thoughts, and tried to rearrange my features. The guilt was finally setting in, right in the pit of my stomach.

"Um… yes. I'm fine. Great," I hurriedly assured him. It didn't sound convincing to me, but maybe I fooled him.

Of course I didn't. His marble forehead creased, but he didn't ask any other questions, thankfully.

"Would you like to go inside?" he asked, taking my hand. Once again, the guilt built up in my stomach as I realized I preferred another larger, warmer hand at the moment. I swallowed, and nodded. I couldn't let my guilt get to me, I couldn't let him see that I was unhappy, as well, even though my unhappiness was caused by his. I had been more than happy an hour earlier…

Stepping into the house, I was greeted with faces identical to Edward's, with the addition of accusation.

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**Oooh, drama. Thanks for reading, please review!**

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	6. Plus or a Minus

**Sorry for the wait, once again! I haven't had a lot of time lately, so sorry. Anyhoo, here's the 6th chapter of virtually painless, please enjoy and R&R! **

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My hands were shaking so hard I could barely get through the flimsy cardboard box. I finally got through, tearing it open and pulling out a little test.

I read the instructions on the back of the box, though I was sure I knew what to do. Ripping open the protective covering, I stared at the small but significant stick. The answer was very simple- a plus, or a minus.

Pregnant, or not.

Taking a deep breath, I unzipped my pants, and relieved myself.

I lifted the test to my eyes.

Calculating…

Calculating…

A small minus sign popped up on the screen, and my heart sank down all the way to my toes.

Not pregnant? _Not pregnant? _I hadn't even considered that possibility. Surely one time would do the trick!

There had to be a mistake.

I reached down, searching through the plastic bag until I found another brand of pregnancy tests. Reading the instructions, I hastily opened the box, and brought out another test. A smile face, a frowning face. Please, please be a smiling face…

Once again, I finished relieving myself on the stick. The anticipation was nearly killing me as I waited for the screen to show an answer.

My vision was slightly blurred, but I could make out the frowning face.

The small test clattered to the tile floor, the small thump echoing in my ears.

There wasn't a mistake this time. I wasn't pregnant.

Numbly, I pulled my pants, zippering them up and throwing away the used tests, disgusted. How could I _not_ be pregnant? We had done the deed more than once in the time that I was at Jacob's house. How many tries would it take?

Would I try any more? Did I want this baby enough to hurt the people around me?

I sighed, and opened the bathroom door, stepping out into the Cullen's cavernous hallway, completely unsure of what to do. How would Edward react? The pain that had been evident on his face only weeks before was not something I wanted to see again. I couldn't stand to see his pain that was due to the things that I had done.

I slowly started down the hallway, my footsteps echoing in the spacious hall. What would I say? Could I bring myself to tell him the truth?

Of course I had to. He would see right through my pathetic attempt at a lie. I was always a bad liar, and when I did lie, I sounded fake, even to myself. He would not believe me whatsoe-

Suddenly, I collided with what felt like a stone-hard statue. I staggered back a few steps, clutching my throbbing nose, teetering dangerously and unable to regain my balance. I felt a cold arm wind around my waist, ensuring that I did not fall. Oh, crap. My eyes were squeezed shut against the pain, but if my assumptions were right, then this was Edward's arm, and I had some explaining to do.

"Are you alright?" A bass voice asked, sounding concerned. Relief washed through me; it was only my current babysitter, Jasper.

I cringed as I gingerly touched my nose- it didn't _feel _broken, but it sure hurt like it was.

"Ow. Yeah, I think so, Jasper," I replied, carefully opening my eyes. "Sorry I was so careless, I didn't hear you." Like that was out of the ordinary; the Cullen family just seemed to materialize out of thin air. He shook his head, his eyes apologetic.

"No, I'm sorry, Bella. I was wrapped up in my own thoughts; it was strange for me not to hear you. I was coming up to check on you." He smiled politely. "Are you really sure you're okay?"

I shrugged, touching my nose again. The dull throbbing was already ebbing, and it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it had a couple of seconds before. "I think so. I mean, I'm sure nothing's broken."

Relief touched his dark gold eyes, and he smoothed back his honey- blonde hair. "That's good. So… how are you doing? Is there anything I can do for you?"

I opened my mouth to assure him that I was fine, and that I didn't need anything, but I closed it as I realized that there was something he _could_ do for me. _I_ couldn't lie, but _he_ could. He was actually very good at lying, what with his emotion-manipulation powers.

I measured his face, taking in his mood. Were we close enough that I could ask him this favor?

I decided that I really didn't have a choice. I didn't have a plan, and my closest accomplice, Rosalie, was hundreds of miles away, along with the rest of the Cullen's.

Jasper would help me, right? He wasn't exactly thrilled with the plan; none of his family was, so he'd help me put an end to it as quickly as possible.

Jasper was appraising me with confusion, probably reading my indecisive emotions.

"Bella?" He asked me, frowning. "What's the matter?"

I bit my lip, meeting my brother-in-law's anxious gaze. I didn't have much of a choice; I couldn't face Edward alone.

"Actually, Jasper, I wanted to ask you a favor." I said carefully, taking in his bewildered expression. His frown lifted slightly, the stress lines disappearing on his marble forehead.

"A favor?" He sounded slightly curious. "What is it?"

I looked at my feet, not sure how to start. "Um… well… you know about my plan with Jacob, right?"

His eyes tightened, narrowing slightly, but the rest of his features remain untouched. "Yes…" he replied slowly, not sure where I was going with this. I shifted my stance uncomfortably, and decided to just spit it out.

"I'm not pregnant, Jasper. It didn't work the first time, and I'm afraid to tell Edward the truth, because I know that he's hurting enough as it is." Jasper's eyes widened, his face morphing into muted shock and dread. I swallowed uneasily. "I'm so bad at lying, and I can't do this on my own… He's your brother, Jasper, can you help me out? Please? I honestly don't know what to do." I lowered my eyes, anxious for his response.

He didn't speak up for another minute or so, and my heart beat rapidly, painfully waiting for his answer.

"Can… I talk to you outside, Bella?" he finally murmured, and my head lifted, meeting his black gaze. I sucked in my breath, surprised at the unpleasant note to his voice. The guard was back up in his eyes. I nodded my head, a little bit apprehensive.

I followed him down the stairs and out the front door, struggling to keep up with his pace. He opened the door for me, gesturing for me to go outside. I stepped through the doorway, and out onto the porch. The golden light was slowly fading over the horizon, casting a pink-orange haze over the land, dimming the sunlight. It was a beautiful sight, but I was otherwise occupied at the moment.

"Bella, I hate to tell you this, but you can't… go off with Jacob Black again." Jasper's voice spoke up behind me, and I turned around reluctantly. "At least not with Edward knowing." I bit my lip once again, faced with a dilemma.

"But I don't want to go sneaking behind his back," I said morosely. This was such a lose-lose situation! I could go off and have a child, but Jacob and Edward would be hurt in the end. And I could choose not to go back, and Jacob and Edward would still be hurt. But for different reasons, of course. Edward would be childless, and Jacob would be…dejected. Thrown away like an old toy. I couldn't do that to him, and I couldn't do that to Edward. What was there to do?

"Bella." Jasper reminded me, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Sorry. I was just thinking that this is such a no-win situation, on both sides," I apologized, clasping my hands before me, agitated.

He ran his hands through his hair, gazing out into the hazy night. "Listen…" he started, sounding unsure. "Edward is my brother, but you… you are my… sister. I want to make you both happy… but I think that I 

can help you." He lowered his eyes, meeting mine. "It may not be right to Edward, but I don't want to see you in this situation. So… I think I have a plan."

I breathed a sigh of relief, resisting the urge to run forward and hug him. "Thank you, Jasper. Really." I unclasped my hands, folding them in front of me. "So what's your plan?"

He sighed, and lowered his head down to my level, as if he had to keep this secret. As if there were many people around instead of just us.

"I think that it would be possible to go… try again with Jacob before Edward notices that you are not pregnant. He will probably ask soon, so you would have to meet Jacob sooner rather than later. Are you positive that you are not pregnant?" He eyed me doubtfully.

I nodded. "I tested today. I'm positive."

He nodded, thinking seriously. "Does Edward know that you tested?"

I pursed my lips. "I think so. He probably saw in Alice's head when she bought me the tests."

"Well, then I don't think you have any time to loose, if you want to be absolutely thorough with this." I could see the thoughts flying in his head. "Tonight, if possible." He grimaced- he did not approve, but we didn't have a choice. "This is so wrong," he mumbled to himself, so quietly that it almost wasn't audible.

"I'll call Jacob; he can come and get me. I just hope he's not busy."

Jasper nodded grudgingly, opening his mouth to repeat himself. "This is so wrong."

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**Thanks for readin, please review! Next chapter should be up soon enough.**


	7. Deciaions and the Outcomes

**Hey, thanks for sticking around to read the seventh chapter of my story. Wow, I thought it would only be, like, four or five!! There's a lot more to come, if you keep leaving me wonderful reviews like you already do! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Enjoy!**

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"Hello?"

I breathed a sigh of relief; Jacob _was_ home, but I wasn't sure if he was busy or not. I would feel pretty rude if I was asking if I could come over and take up space in the Black's little home if he did have something going on.

"Jacob, it's me," I answered after a moment of thought.

There was a short pause, and then he spoke up in his familiar voice. "Hey, Bella," he said, sounding slightly surprised. "Um, what's up?"

I bit my lip, but decided to ask him anyways. "Uh, Jake… what are you doing right now?" I asked tentatively, looking at Jasper, who was sitting at the table behind me. He nodded, as if to encourage me to go on.

I turned my head back, waiting for his answer.

"Sam had us running patrol for awhile, I just got home. I'm getting a bite to eat right now," he said warily, not sure what I was getting at. "Why?"

Liberation swept through me- so he wasn't busy. Our plan might work then. I mentally crossed my fingers while I formed an answer.

"Listen, Jake," I started, "I took a couple tests earlier today and it turns out that I'm not pregnant." I didn't wait for him to speak up. "Edward's gone right now, but if he finds out that I'm not, he's going to be so devastated. He'll be in more pain than he is now and I… I can't stand it when he's like that." My voice shook slightly at the end, hopefully moving Jacob slightly, if he was against me coming over. I didn't want to sound conceited, but I doubted that that was the case. I felt a wave of tranquility wash over me, probably Jasper's doings.

"So can I… come over now?" I asked finally, switching the tiny silver phone to my other ear, my heartbeat increasing with anticipation.

There was a moment of silence, and then he spoke up, sounding surprisingly calm. "Yeah, of course. Lucky for you my dad's out right now." I heard him clear his throat before continuing. "Do you need me to come and get you?"

I looked over at Jasper, as if for permission. He nodded, once again.

"Yeah, if that's okay with you."

"'Kay, then. I'm going to finish up here and I'll be there in a bit." I could here a smile in his voice when he added "Which do you prefer, wolf or the car?"

I laughed in spite of myself. "I'll take the car, thanks. I bet it's a bit more comfortable than a dog's back."

He chuckled. "Well, I'll see you later then."

"Bye, Jake," I murmured, and then the line disconnected. Feeling immensely optimistic, I snapped the phone shut and dropped it into Jasper's outstretched hand. He tucked it into the pocket of his jeans, and stood up, looking somewhat apprehensive. I felt bad for Jasper, since he was going against his brother and my husband, but I… but _we_ couldn't go back on this. Jasper would help me through this.

He looked down at me with doubt. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I swallowed, and nodded. "I can't go back now. I won't see Edward in pain. I know that you won't, but… please, keep this a secret from Edward?" I looked up at him, beseeching. "At least, try not to think of it?"

He grimaced slightly, but nodded his head, sucking in a breath. "Of course. I'll try my best not to think of it." He smiled genially. "I won't back off on my part, and I'll help you in any way that I can." His eyes clouded over for a second, a flicker of a darker emotion crossed his face. "Being alone… it's not a pleasant thing. I wouldn't want that to happen to you, not when it's so important." He looked over my head for a minute, brooding, but then his eyes roamed back to mine.

I was touched. I didn't know that it would be possible to have such a good relationship with Jasper, but I was happy that we had this mutual understanding.

"Thank you so much Jasper. That, er, means a lot to me."

He smiled serenely. "Certainly. Now, I think you need to eat something, am I right? You're hungry." He reminded me gently. Of course he would know this, but it was strange when someone else knew that you were hungry and you hadn't even realized it yet. But once he mentioned it, my stomach growled, ironically enough. He laughed, and I joined in, a bit sheepishly.

"I'll get you something before you go," he assured me, placing his cold hand lightly on my shoulder. I was surprised that he was comfortable with this casual contact, but he was guiding me to the kitchen before I could react, pulling out a chair and pushing me down on it, gently of course.

* * *

"Hey," I breathed, sliding into the passenger side of the Rabbit, and shutting the door behind me. I waved to Jasper, who was standing out on the porch, seeing me off. He gave a short wave, a parting good-luck smile, and disappeared into the house.

I turned around to greet him, and I felt the new, overwhelming feelings for Jacob bubble up in my chest as I took in his face, his full lips and his shiny black hair.

Hoping that Jasper wasn't spying out of the curtains, I leaned over and kissed him gently, raising my hand and lightly touching his cheek. Jacob leaned closer to me, kissing me back with such tenderness that I felt my heart melt a tiny bit. Jacob was just so sweet. He looked scary to some on the outside, but he was just a gentle giant. Like the character, the BFG in Rohl Dahl's children's book.

That though made me laugh in spite of myself, and I smiled against Jacob's lips as the image popped up into my brain.

He pulled back, looking confused and slightly amused.

"Something funny?" he inquired, raising a black eyebrow at me. I laughed quietly, shaking the picture out of my head.

"Mm, I'll tell you later. It's not really important." I was now anxious to get out of the watchful eyes of Jasper, who was more likely than not watching us from the windows. I surveyed the house one last time, but he was not to be seen. "Let's get out of here."

Jacob grinned at me, his smile stretching across his face. "You don't have to tell me twice. It reeks over here, Bells." He wrinkled his nose a bit, and I laughed as we pulled out of the Cullen's driveway.

As we pulled onto the highway, Jacob broke the comfortable silence.

"So it's been awhile since I've heard from you personally," he commented, taking his eyes off of the road for a minute to shoot a sarcastic glance in my direction. "Anything new and exciting?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not really. It's been so tense over there. No ones particularly happy with me, though I can't blame them." I sighed. "Jasper and I are on pretty good terms, though. He's the one helping me sneak out right now." I swallowed guiltily.

Jacob pursed his lips. "So you're pretty much the slut of the house now, eh?" He playfully poked me in the rib, and I swatted his hand away good-naturedly. He chuckled quietly in response.

"Well, it's not really funny, but yes, pretty much." I inhaled through my nose. "I had to do this tonight because I don't want anyone to know that we're doing this again." I looked over at him apologetically, and he met my gaze. His black eyes were understanding enough, so he wasn't offended, at least. "It would get a lot worse, you know, because it's already tense enough."

He nodded thoughtfully. "You don't have to worry, I won't get offended. It must be kinda hard over there." Pulling the car into a sharp turn off of the exit, Jacob reached over for my hand. "You know, if it gets bad over there, you can always come and see me. With other people, of course, so they won't suspect anything." He smiled quickly at me, and I had to smile back.

"Thanks Jacob. I appreciate it."

We lapsed into thoughtful silence for a minute or so, and I contemplated a few things, now that the proper time had come. What would happen to our relationship? It had already passed the little, tentative edge of friends and lovers, and now we were lovers, in a strange sense. But I did know that Jacob's feelings for me were more intense than my feelings for him. And plus, I had already broken him, doing it again would be so… devastating.

The truth hit me lick a ton of brocks. I had known this before, but I had somehow managed to forget about it. So once again, I would have to choose; Edward, or Jacob?

The answer was less obvious then before, when I had to make the same choice. But I knew, in the end, who it would turn out to be. It was Edward, because I couldn't live without him. Right?

But Jacob had made a very big impact on me, emotionally and physically. I knew that he had to take some part in my life, and not just a small part, either. I didn't like to admit it that much, but Jacob and Edward were almost neck in neck, in the less rational side of my brain.

So now the choice wasn't all that obvious.

Before I had time to rearrange my thoughts, we were pulling into the Jacob's driveway, the Rabbit's engine revving slightly as we parked, and Jacob turned the key in the ignition, shutting it off.

Sliding the keys into his jean pocket, Jacob opened his door, and stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut. He looked down at me, waiting for me to get out. When I hesitated longer than necessary, he strode around to the passenger side, and opened the door for me, peering inside.

"You coming, Bella?" he asked, puzzled.

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I realized that if I made love with Jacob right now, I would be able to make my decision, and that was a decision I did not want to make right now. Or ever, more like it, but I definitely did not want to make it now. But if we didn't… then the decision would be made as well. But it would have the opposite outcome.

What was there to do?

"Bella?"

I looked up at him, my eyes beginning to prick with moisture. Jacob registered my expression slowly, but before he could say anything, I spoke up.

"Jacob, please don't get mad at me, but I don't think I can do this, after all." I bit my lip unhappily. "Can we talk inside?"

* * *

**Hmmmmm... so now the drama will come on!! Thanks for reading, please review.**


	8. MuchNeeded Space

**Hello! Thank you for sticking around to read the final chapter. Whew, I really like writing this story. Thank you to all that reviewed my stories and favorite-d me!!**

**So here is the FINAL CHAPTER of Virtually Painless, please enjoy, review, and don't kill me for the ending :)**

**(P.S. There will be a good possibility of a follow-up for this. I intend to do a lot more FF!)**

* * *

So this was just like last time, then.

I could hear her walking behind me, and I tried to keep my cool, though it shouldn't have been hard to. Where was this anger coming from? It wasn't like I was pissed about her not wanting to do it, I wasn't some horndog-no pun intended. But the déjà vu that was flooding my system made me want to kick something.

Just like last time.

So Bella was going to pick him after all.

I had tried not to think about it too much. I tried to convince myself that she had no reason to fall in love with me after this. Our agreement from the beginning was that we'd just do this, and she would go off with him again. And I thought that I would be okay with that, as long as I had gotten my wish.

But now, I realized that I had been kind of trying to win her over since I had agreed to this whole ordeal. And it was going to hurt us both, just like last time.

Shit.

We headed for the kitchen, where I pulled out a chair for her, and she sat down tentatively, biting her lip. I tried not to think about how much that turned me on, even if she did it unintentionally. I shook my head, clearing those thoughts.

Sitting down opposite her, I locked my hands together, waiting for her to start. I was not starting this conversation; something rash would come out of my mouth if I did. She glanced up at me, realizing that I was waiting for her to speak up.

"Um… I'm not sure how to say this, Jake." Her brown eyes pleaded for me to speak.

I sighed gustily. "I think I know where this is going," I allowed, caving in. I had such a weakness for Bella. It was pitiable. I averted my eyes- if I was looking into her eyes, I would loose my nerve and take her for myself.

"You do?" She mumbled- there was a false sense of surprise in her voice. She knew that I knew what she was thinking.

I sighed again. "You know how hard it is for me to say this… but it's all right if you, y'know, go off with Edward after this is done. It's my fault that I got so carried away with this." I still refused to meet her gaze. She was silent for a moment, and I was dying to see what emotion was displayed on her face, but I resisted the urge.

"You think… that I'm doing this because I feel guilty and I'm actually planning to sneak off with him?" she said incredulously. Her mood caught my attention, and my eyes snapped back to her face. Her eyes were wide with disbelief.

I nodded slowly. "Well… yeah. I mean, it kinda seemed like you were feeling guilty because you were afraid of hurting my feelings. You don't need to spare me any guilt, Bells…" I trailed off, hesitating because of her expression. "What?" I finally asked, a bit irritated.

She shook her head, her eyebrows furrowed. "That's not the case at all, Jacob."

I frowned- I thought I had her all figured out. "Then what's your problem, then?" I snapped, my irrational temper leaking a bit. I closed my mouth, already feeling bad for loosing my cool with her.

She bit her lips again. "It's more like… I'm having a hard time deciding what I really want. More like, what's best for other people." She looked up at me, her eyes pleading for me to hear her out. My eyes narrowed- there goes Bella and her unselfish antics.

"Well, what do _you _want, Bella?" I asked, irked. _This girl really needs to get her priorities straight._

"I can't decide!" She wailed, placing her head in her hands. My mood altered from slightly annoyed to shame in a second; my irritated disposition wasn't really helping her.

"Listen, Jake… this whole thing has been either really good or really bad for me," Bella whispered, her voice muffled by her hands. "The thing is, if I do it with you again, I'll want to be with you. On the other hand, if I don't do it, Edward will be disappointed and our relationship might get shaky because of this. So either way, it seems like a loose-loose situation." She sighed, and her voice shook near the end. I reached out for her, but decided against it and pulled my hand back. I waited for her to go on.

"I want to be with you, and I want to be with Edward. And this does sound a lot like last time, but it's different because I have different feelings now." She sniffled, and looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears. "I love you even more than I did before, and now it seems like it's almost a … tie between you and Edward. I didn't mean to phrase it like this is a game, but…" she choked off, unable to continue.

My less rational side forced me to get up from my chair, and cross the table to comfort her. Automatically, I pulled her into my arms, stroking her silky hair and feeling her tears soak through my t-shirt.

I wished there was something I could do. Last time, I had the choice to be selfless and let her go. But this time, our emotions were neck and neck, and she just couldn't decide. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her, and that made things more difficult.

If I could be selfless right now, I would do it in a heartbeat, just to make her suffering disappear. But I couldn't, because she wouldn't be able to just let go of me.

It was all on her, this time around.

So I just sat there, warring with myself, trying endlessly to find an alternative to this. Were there any options that wouldn't cause heartbreak? And every possibility that I found had little loopholes, ending the little hope of happiness.

I wanted her to pick me. I really did. But right now, it was just too hard to be selfish. I usually had no problem with getting my point across, no matter how stupid or self-centered it sounded, but I couldn't do it now. Not when I was holding the most unselfish person that I had ever met.

A couple long, hard minutes past by and finally Bella got a hold of herself. Her tears stopped flowing, but she didn't pull away. She just kind of sagged in my arms, as if her energy was gone. I still kept my hold on her, afraid if I let go she would fall onto the floor or something.

"Jacob?" she asked, her voice thick from the tears.

"Mm?" I asked, making as little noise as possible for some unknown reason. Right now, it felt like if I raised my voice, she would break down again. So I kept my tone light and gentle, trying to sound soothing.

"I think I'm going to go away for awhile. On a trip or something," Bella muttered.

I raised an eyebrow, internally questioning her sanity right now.

"A…trip?" What the hell? Yeah, _this_ was the best time for a trip… Bella had lost it officially.

She nodded into my chest. "To sort out my feelings. I've never really been good at snap decisions, and with both of you around, it's just too hard to decide what I really want." She cleared her throat quietly. "I'm trying to merge what's right and what I want, and I don't think… that I can just do that right away. It'll take some time." She took a deep breath.

Realization dawned on me. I had kind of assumed that she was going to make her decision right here, right now. I sucked in a breath, trying to wrap my mind around all of this drama. Yeah, a trip would probably be a good thing for her to do right now. Clear that head of hers.

But what if I waited around for her to come back, and she picked Edward?

I tensed, hugging her closer involuntarily. She wiped her eyes on my shirt, and looked up at me, probably to read my face, to see why I was so tense all of a sudden.

"What's the matter, Jake?" she asked me, her brown eyes a bit red around the edges.

I stared at her, wondering if this was the last time I'd be holding her so close.

The wind whooshed out of my lungs, like I was being punched din the gut. I hadn't truly realized, until now, how much I really loved Bella. And how much it would hurt me if she chose him again.

The old saying 'You never really appreciate anything until it's gone' filled my mind, and I was shocked to find my eyes pricking at the edges, my vision blurring as tears filled my eyes. What was this?!

Bella registered my hurt and shock, and her eyes widened in alarm. She touched my face, searching my eyes with concern.

"Jacob?" she said, her voice high with surprise. "What's the matter?"

I removed one arm from her waist, and hastily wiped the tears out of my eyes. I was such an emotional mess lately; it was like puberty all over again.

"Ugh," I grunted, shaking my head, slightly embarrassed. But then again, it was Bella. There was almost nothing she didn't know about me, and I realized that it didn't matter that I cried around her. She _did _cry enough around me, truth be told.

"Jake?"

"Bella, I'm sorry," I apologized, "But I'm just having a hard time with this whole thing. It was kinda like you said earlier, if one thing goes one way, it'll suck, and if it goes another way, it'll suck even more." I sighed, feeling tired all of a sudden. I loosened my grip on her, remembering that I had to watch my strength around her. "But for me, it's like, if it goes one way, I would be so happy. But if it went the other way…" I trailed off, not wanting to make this harder for her. "Sorry. Just… don't let my moping stop you from being happy."

She was listening intently, and she held my gaze for a moment, like she was searching for some of her answers in my eyes. I looked away, not wanting her to see how much this would truly hurt me if things went the other way.

"Dammit," she sighed, looking away. I raised my eyebrow, confused.

"I just wish there was none of this creature stuff," she explained, inhaling and shaking her head. "No vampires, no werewolves, nothing to get in the way of a relationship." She let out her breath, shaking her head again. I agreed with her one-hundred percent- no vampires, no Edward. I held back a smirk.

"All right, Bella. Just go on this trip of yours, and work things out with yourself. I'll be waiting around for you," I promised, giving in. There was no way I could live without her, at this point, so I might as well be prepared to face the consequences.

She registered this, her pale skin flushing slightly with emotion, and then she threw her arms around my neck.

Bella was so unpredictable, yet so predictable. She was fairly emotional, but had a good head on her shoulders. She was undecided, selfless, and totally stubborn. But that was why I loved her, of course.

I would miss her. Who knows how long it would take to sort things out?

"Make sure you really make up your mind this time," I said sternly, still being gentle. I wound my arms back around her waist. "Clear your head, for real, and then come back."

She nodded against my shoulder, and lifted her head up to kiss my cheek. "I will. I'll miss you, Jake. Thank you for everything."

I felt those stupid tears coming up again, and I resisted the urge to fight them. Why should I?

Impulsively, I cupped one hand under her chin, and pulled it up to meet her lips. She didn't pull away like I had expected, but instead she just hugged me tighter as we kissed. The hot tears ran down my face, and I knew that she could feel them, dripping onto her cheek.

I knew I would be strong enough to get through this, no matter what her answer was. If things didn't work out, I couldn't run away like last time. I would stay around La Push and fulfill my duties a protector, help my dad out around the house. Maybe I would even find someone of my own to imprint on. But I wouldn't try to look for some girl.

Because the only girl that I had ever loved was right in my arms, and that was enough for me.

_**The End.**_


	9. A Last note

**Hi everyone!**

**Wow. Thank you so much for staying around and reading my story, I was so happy to see the reviews!**

**So I think that I can promise you a sequel by the name of _Ironically Loveless _by the end of this week….**

**So check my profile in a couple of days, you just may find it! Or put my name on author alert, that's probably a better idea.**

**Thanks again!**

**Lisabelle**

**P.S.- Edwards not going to give up without a fight... :) **


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